Thoughts from an emotional day

   I know this is mostly about the adoption but I like to include our other children. Our oldest turned 6 yesterday. 6!!! I think this is a big number because up until 5 you are either a baby, or a toddler, or a preschooler but at 6 you are a kid. I know it's probably crazy mommy talk but my baby is just not a baby anymore. He asked me yesterday "Mom, do you wish I could be 5 forever?" My initial heart response was yes, of course I do. But as I thought about it I said "no". I explained to him how I love watching him grow up and discover new things. I love watching him fall in love with God in different ways. I feel so blessed that God has allowed us to raise this little boy. I cherish every age that he has been and look forward to every age just the same. He gave him to us in a much different way then he is giving us our last child but even a child born to you was given by God.
   On the adoption front nothing new has happened recently. The last board meeting in Thailand did give 2 families from our agency their First Approval which means they will get travel dates within the next month. This is a good thing because it means there is movement and movement means maybe we are next or at least closer. I know I have said before that this is hard. I think about our little all the time now. Even at random times such as in line in the drive thru at the bank. Yesterday I was in line and a song came on the radio. It was by Matt Hammitt and called "All of Me". I have always like the song because I heard the artist give the background and he wrote it at a time when he and his wife were expecting their child and they were told she had some problems with her heart. The doctors weren't sure if she would live. Well at the same time I had a friend in the exact same situation and the song would remind to pray for her. Of course, then we got our referral and our little girl has a mild heart problem. So of course the song reminds me of her now. BUT as I was listening to the song the other day I started crying because our little girl is going to have a broken heart in more than just a physical way. The chorus says "You're gonna have all of me, 'Cause you're worth every falling tear, You're worth facing any fear, You're gonna know all my love, Even if it's not enough, Enough to mend our broken hearts, But giving you all of me is where I'll start". The song just spoke to me in a different way than ever before. It was obviously God reminding me that at first our love may not be enough for her but that doesn't matter. It's not going to be easy because she is coming to us broken and we just have to keep on loving her while HE mends her little heart (the emotional one). So there I was with tears in my eyes at the bank drive thru. I thought being pregnant brought on crazy emotions but apparently so does adoption... it's just much longer than 9 months.
  Our children seem to be thinking about her a lot too. Makayla's prayer request last night was that "God would let us bring Kannika home soon so we can take her to the doctor to make her big foot all better" :) Her prayer requests are so sweet she prays for her sister almost every night.