1 month together... God is so good!

  I was on Facebook today and fellow adopting mom posted a picture of her daughter's finished room with and empty bed because they are still waiting to travel and pick up their little girl. The sight of that empty bed brought back so many memories for me. I was reminded of the constant reminder of our own empty bed that somewhere half way around the world our little girl was being raised by someone else. It was such a hard time for me and seeing that empty bed picture made me so grateful that she is home with us now. It also helped me to see how hard the wait really was. When we were in the middle of it I was just trying to pretend like there wasn't this sadness constantly with me. I would pray and feel peace but the sadness would creep back in. I would often just go sit in her room and pray. Sometimes after I knew there had been another board meeting without our names coming up I would just go and sit in her room unable to even pray I would just let God hear my heart and yes, my sadness. Looking at our little girl today she is a reminder of God's faithfulness. He never left us or her but brought us all together in his timing. It's easy to see that now but there were definitely some very dark days where I wasn't sure. It's almost impossible to explain how hard it can be if you have not been through it yourself but to any of the parents still waiting just know that the wait is completely worth it and for me the hardest part so far. Which brings me to my next part of the post today.
   Today marks 1 month of having physical custody of our little girl. It honestly feels like she has been here forever... and not in a bad way just that she fits so well with our family. I have hesitated to say just how well it is going. I don't want people who have had a hard time to feel bad. However, I was challenged by an adoptive mom who adopted about 15 years ago to share anyway. She pointed out that people need to hear the good and the bad. It's popular right now to highlight how hard it is and be "real" and if you say it's going well people think you are sugar coating. So let me say it's going GREAT! Kannika has been a rockstar at attaching and adjusting. There is only reason she has been doing this well though and that is GOD. He alone is the reason it is going well. We are definitely not super parents in any way. We prayed from the beginning that He would prepare us and her for what was to come and I believe He heard our prayers and has done just that. Yes, she still has fits of crying but they are pretty few and far between and don't usually last as long. She also had made great progress with the word "no". She can tell the difference between a "no, that's not safe or I just prefer you not to do that" and "no, you are in trouble". Even when she is actually in trouble she recovers quickly now and generally obeys. She runs to us and hugs us when she's excited and yesterday she gave me a kiss without me asking she did it just because she wanted to. She has gone to the nursery at our church and does great there too. She has fun while she is there and when we pick her up she's excited to see us. Tonight she even gave me pouty look to let me know she wasn't happy I left but as soon as we picked her up she smiled. She has done great with every milestone she has come up against since coming home. Even her doctor appointment wasn't a complete disaster. Since I don't want this post to go on forever tomorrow I will write about her medical issues. I will end with some pictures of our little cutie. She loves dressing up with her sister.

This picture sums up their sister relationship pretty much perfectly.

 She did great on her first bus ride with mommy. She came with me to a cross country running meet while I coached. She didn't love not sleeping at home and being without her siblings but she did good considering the changes she's been there.

Makayla is constantly touching her new sister! 

 All ready for her first Sunday at church. Gavin adores his new sister.

Why do I get so surprised??

    I'm not sure why I am continually surprised when God meets our needs through this process. We have always felt this was something God wanted us to do so why do I ever doubt or get worried? Probably because I don't have nearly enough faith. After finding out we are on the waiting list I started to worry about what would happen if we didn't raise the money needed at the time of referral. I knew it was about a year away but still it was something that concerned me. Then in one day we had 2 families donate money to help us. Both were unexpected and completely sacrificial. I am so grateful and still somewhat in shock. I am just so thankful that people want to help us. The good news is we just need to raise money for the travel now. GOD IS SO GOOD! People listening to God and being willing to be a blessing are amazing. We will never be able to express just how grateful or how big of a deal this is to u. It not only helps us actually get through the process but keeps reaffirming our faith that this God's plan for our family. When the wait seems long or when times get trying after we pick up our child I will be able to look back and remember how God provided. These time will be a continual reminder that there is nothing He cannot handle for us if we are just willing to trust Him.
   Another lesson I am learning through this is just how little we actually need. I am learning to analyze my purchases. It's really very humbling to realize just how blessed we are to be able to have good food to eat and plenty of clothes to wear. We have never had to go without anything and so many people do. I am looking forward to the day when we have the adoption fully funded and I can start using our money to be a blessing to other people. This adoption process has already been a chance for me to grow in so many ways and we are only 6 months into it. I'm sure that I cannot even imagine how God is going to use this child to change my faith. Adoption is definitely not just about helping a child have a family. It's a process God uses to show us just how great He is and to bring glory to Him.