Empty House

  As I sit here in an empty house I have the chance to reflect on the last 8 years we have had here. There are so many memories here. We didn't bring our babies home to this house but we sure have raised them here. We moved in here with a 1 (almost 2) year old and a 4 year old. They were so little at the time. Kannika had even just been born all the way across the world. We didn't know of her yet but we did know we would be adding to our family through adoption.
  I look into the room that sat empty for so long and remember all the times I sat in that room and prayed for the child that would eventually sleep there. I would pray for the strength to get through the process when it seemed like we may never bring her home. The moments when Thailand seemed even farther away than it actually was simply because my baby was there and I couldn't get to her. I look into Makayla's room and remember the nights of praying over her as she had vivid nightmares. She was so young to be dealing with those and it was when I learned Satan doesn't play fair. It was where we both learned the power of prayer and Jesus' name. I look into Gavin's room and remember the nights I cuddled him as a little boy. He's not that little boy anymore but I still see him there. I remember the nights he cried over his dog dying. His first dog and really the first time he experienced loss.
  I know we will make new memories in our new house and they will be just as sweet. Saying goodbye to this house is not saying goodbye to those memories but it is saying goodbye to a part or our lives. A part of our lives we will never get back.
  If saying goodbye to the things that don't live and breathe is this hard I am definitely not looking forward to the next 2 days of saying goodbye to friends and family. Friends who are as close as family. I read a book to the kids called Best Family Ever by Karen Kingsbury. It turned out to be a book about a family moving. The dad in the book prayed for God to help them with their "goodbyes". From the beginning of this journey the goodbyes are what I have dreaded. I have been praying for God to give the kids and Darryl and I the strength to get through the goodbyes.